So Divine....

I finally bought a heap of frames to display some pics of Kara (most are just on the computer...) and so I've been looking through photos from the last 5 years. There are so many but there are some from 18 months ago that really shocked me. Kara has grown SO much from 4-5 ~ she looked like a baby then.....

And a newborn pic ~ she wasn't quite 2 days old here.... I NEED another one :P

I Still Hate It.....

I'll keep this short lol.....

My girl just left with her father for three nights....it seems like it's weeks. When the sleepovers started (18 months ago now), everybody kept saying "You'll get used to it. You'll enjoy the break". Pft.

I farking hate it, as does Kara. I didn't have a child to ship her off at every opportunity. I had her to watch her grow, be with her, love her. Yes, she needs to be away from me at times to develop independance, but she doesn't need 3 nights for that :P

I hate that in less than two years, I won't see my baby for a week at a time. When I think about it, everything falls apart. How will I do it?

Oilily and Fred Bare!!!!!

I know some of you loooove the above, so I thought I'd stick a quick post here to tell you to look at my ebay listings :P

Over the next few weeks, I will be listing at least 100 items in size 4-6 from Kara's wardrobe. A couple of you have asked me in the past to let you know when I list, so I thought this was the easiest way!!

My Ebay id is "fredbare!" and there will be a lot of summer gear.

( a link!!!! http://cgi.ebay.com.au/ws/eBayISAPI.dll?ViewItem&rd=1&item=220236807823&ssPageName=STRK:MESE:IT&ih=012)

xxxx

Poor Violet :(

I know sooooo many of you cringe at the thought of a rat ~ I am forever getting shit about owning one from friends lol.

But, just like Charlotte and Sweety (our cat and dog), Violet is one of our pets both Kara and I are attached to her just as much (if not more) than them (our love birds died btw ~ both were dead at the bootm of their cage on thursday and I have nfi why.....).

Anyway, Violet isn't well :( We took her to the vet today ($75 later....) and she is on antibiotics and an anti-inflammatory..... she has some respiratory problem.

Kara's upset about the prospect of her dying soon and has been holding and loving her a lot today.... I'm hoping the drugs improve her a bit and she lives for a bit longer...

She's sooo cute :P

Crazy Times!!

That is the best way to describe the past two weeks!!!!

Work is great ~ thanks to all who have asked about it! I am needing to juggle my routine a lot, even though I'm only working 3 days (and not even full days). It's totally doable but it just means I have very little 'me' time now ~ that used to be evenings for me. I am determined to keep the time I have with Kara as time WITH Kara..... therefore, after school pick up, it's really important for me (and I think for Kara) to spend the 4 hours pre-bedtime doing fun things with my girl. It does make it hard ~ I need to be super organised and make sure the house is clean and the meals prepared at night , once she's in bed. I finally feel that I'm getting there now:)

One thing I have noticed, is how much of a different financial situation others my age are in LOL.... for the better of course :P I suppose you get that working in a finance company. One of the first things that jumped out at me, was how much Super and Investments some 3o year olds have ~ it almost scared me at one stage!!! It did get me thinking..... thinking about the paths I've chosen in life and whether I've done the right thing. I have been criticised in the past by some for 'sponging' from the government instead of working ~ for being part of the Centrelink Gravy chain as it was so nicely put and at times, I have wondered how that would effect Kara as a person. BUT it only takes seconds with my girl to push all of those worries aside. My angel is so confident. She is so bright and so 'tuned in'. We have a bond and relationship that I know I would never have had with her if I didn't choose the path I've chosen. I know I would have huge regrets if I didn't spend her pre-school years with her, especially after what's happened in court. You know for once, and I don't say this lightly, I am so proud of what I've done for Kara given the situation I've been in (both financial and emotional). I'm proud that I've raised my girl the way I have ~ even if the government has paid for it. Now that I'm working, I will be paying that back AND I've had the best 5 years of my life which I will cherish forever. How could I possibly have chosen any other path?

I didn't start this post with the intentions of the above ~ sometimes my mind just wonders and I type as it does... probably not a great thing but I suppose that's what a blog is for.

So today..... it POURED in Adelaide. We had a late night last night and this morning, the sound of the rain on the tin roof scared the crap out of me ~ it was that heavy.

Kara, last night, finally got to see hail!!! She was so so so excited and this morning, ran out again (with my slippers on) in case it returned. She's just so darn adorable (if I do say so myself :P).

Here are some pics of my girl today... they're crappy atm but I'm too buggered to edit them properly lmao.

xxxx

What The? Choose about 40 photos......

Ok ~ this has been the hardest thing to do since Kara started school :P

Every week, one child in Kara's classroom is chosen as 'Star of the Week'. Basically, they get to sit on a special chair, take the class teddy and turtle home, make classroom decisions (which books to read, games to play etc) and they need to present a poster of their lives......

It's the last part that's proven difficult.

I love taking photos of Kara ~ just in case you hadn't noticed LOL. I have about 18 000 of her since she was one (when I got my first digital camera) and another 2000 or so from birth to one.... we had to choose about 35-40 of these to fit them onto a poster.

I printed off about 150 and gave them to Kara to cull ~ to give her some say in what she wanted on there. I even asked her dad for some pics from his wedding to add (it is part of her life afterall but I am proud of myself for doing that pmsl). Well, after Kara culled, we were down to 147. She removed 3 photos ~ they were 3 of my favs lmao.

Anywayyyyyy, after much compromise, we cut down and shrank as many as we could fit and put the remaining 100 odd into an album for her to take. I tried to do a good range but it really is soooo hard to choose from so many.

This is what it looks like ~ it's like Where's Wally lmfao.... so many photos.

Such a Tragedy

I rarely watch the news now ~ I just find it so upsetting and in many cases, so full of shit anyway. Issues are rarely reported as they happen and it just frustrates me. Fingers of accusation are often cast at the wrong person and I wonder just how that person would feel. Anyway, I'm getting of track......

I read today that the little boy, Imran Zilic, who was missing after an access visit with his father has been found in a mine shaft. For whatever reason, I cannot stop thinking about this little boy and his mother. I haven't stopped thinking about her anguish since the story was told. I cannot stop wondering how any person could do this to their child. HOW could his father do this to him?

I don't know these people and I never will but Imran's loss has really upset me. It's just so very pointless. Just so cruel.

Rest in peace little man ~ send your Mummy as much strength as you can. xxxx

It's In The Eyes

(click it to make it bigger, then click it again :) )

I know I've been posting heaps of Kara lately but I promise I'll try to think of more interesting things to blog LOL. BUT I took this photo this morning and I keep staring into her eyes. I rarely love a photo I take but this one does it for me..... she looks so angelic (looks are soooo deceptive :P )

Still Not Used To It!

For the past few days, I keep looking at Kara and thinking how different she looks. How can a few inches of less hair change a kid soooo much.

This morning when I got up (Kara let me sleep in because of my back pain lol), Kara had dressed herself and all I could hear from her playroom was "I look soooo trendy" PMSL. I was surprised at her choice of clothing as she says she never wants to wear denim but for whatever reason, this dress passes her strict criteria lol.

Once I summonsed the energy to get out of bed, I took a few pics of her 'surfing' on the rocking chair..... she was just so adorable and sooooo happy. She insisted she wouldn't fall, but the last pic proves her wrong.

I know I say it a lot (and I know it's a good thing) but my little girl is growing so fast. Being her Mummy, I think she is also growing more and more beautiful every day :)

xxx

I've Been Tagged....

I've been tagged.......by Danielle and Tabitha!

(I have to mention and link the person who tagged me ~ above!!!).
Mention the rules on your blog ~
Tell about 6 unspectacular quirks of yours ~
Tag 6 fellow bloggers by linking them ~
Leave a comment on each of the tagged bloggers blogs ~ letting them know they have been tagged!!

Before I start, I need to work out how to link others lmao ~ I'll do that part later....

1. I CANNOT STAND chewing noises. It just grates on my nerves, especially if somebody is eating whilst speaking to me on the phone. I almost always have to hang up because it stresses me out. (also causes problems at a cinema :P )

2. I love polka dots. Kara is sick of it. I just can't help buying fabric with spots ~ I would have at least 200 metres of polka dot fabric.

3. I'm a night owl. I rarely go to bed before 1am. If I do, I wake within an hour.

4. I am a MASSIVE hoarder. I keep anything with sentimenal value ~ it could be a lolly wrapper. I still have my pyjamas from when I was 4 and I remember my mum going to throw them out and saying "I want to keep those for when I have a daughter..... ". I have a photo of Kara in them somewhere :)

5. I hate mixing my food. I have to have spaces between different foods on my plate. I've always done it and have nfi why. I remember feeling sick when I was a kid if some of my potato touched my meat pmsl.

6. I never dance. I hate it. I love to watch it but dread the day I am in a situation I have to do it.

Now I'm off to work out how to link names lol.


Karla http://www.untanglingknots.com/
Sue http://iwishiwasthree.blogspot.com/
Megan http://rohanandmegan.blogspot.com/
Amanda http://pennynpounds.blogspot.com/
Mandy http://pushystagemother.blogspot.com/
Justine http://banksies.blogspot.com/

Hmmmmm ~ maybe I won't work it out LMFAO. Oh well, you can copy and paste the links :P

Dancing in the Rain.... and Employment!

On Wednesday, Kara and I arrived at school and it started to rain. Kara's face lit up because she loooooooooves being in the rain and it wasn't pouring, so I let her. She then decided we should dance together in it (with me picking her up), so I scooped her into my arms and CRACK... my back didn't like it.

To say I've been in pain is an understatement LOL. I went to the doctors with tears and pretty much requested drugs before she even had a chance to close the door. Those with backpain will relate..... I've torn a muscle and there's some bleeding that is causing the most bizarre burning sensation. I'm so over it already.... hoping it will improve over the next few days.

On a completely different note....

As of Monday (thanks to my Mum xxx), I will be employed!!!!! YAYYYY WOOOOHOOOOO

I had given myself until June to find employment but I am not prepared to have Kara in care ~ we already feel we don't have enough time together, so being able to have our few hours after school is really important to me. Consequently, I needed something within school hours.... not an easy task!!!! Soooooo, this job is perfect ~ it's 3 days a week from 9:30 until 2:30 and the days are flexible. Initially it will be tues-thurs, but once I've learnt the ropes and have settled in, if need be (due to Kara commitments) I can swap days. It's in a financial company and basically (from what I've gathered), I will be transferring data to different systems. So it's computer work which will need little thinking ~ just what I want LOL.

It's just such a relief for me. The recent thousands I needed to pay for the court costs has really made things too difficult, so the extra money will come at the PERFECT time. It won't impede my time with my girl either, which is just fabbo!

And just because ~ look at my girl here.... it was the first time in her cot (after being in a bassinette)..... soooo cute!!! We need to do a photo collage for school and it means me going through literally 20 000 pics of kara to choose about 40.

Oh My Gosh......

ARGHHHHH

Loooooooooooook!!!!!

Last week, the unimaginable happened..... Kara announced she wanted short hair.

I love her long hair. It's been growing for 5 years and I've always been very relieved that she's loved it too. So when she insisted "it's my hair though Mummy, so I should be able to choose", I had to agree.

So, this morning, we went to get it cut.... I absolutely ADORE it! Her little face looks even more divine and she is so happy with it.

It does make her look older though :( My baby is growing too fast.

xxx

Do you think she likes it? :P

Be Careful What You Ask For....

:P

A few of my friends keep saying this to me, given the dreams I have for a certain person's demise.....

Well, now I understand why they say it LOL.

When Kara goes to her father's house, I have tried encouraging her to call me. Of course a part of the reason is for me ~ I love to hear her voice ~ but I also feel it's important she feels she is able to. Likewise, I also encourage her to call her father...

Her response is usually something along the lines of "I don't feel comfortable doing that".....

For the past couple weeks though, Kara has called me. It began on the days when her father decided it was appropriate to go to work for her FIRST long stay with him ~ I got a call at 6:50 am from her and about 4 more followed.

Now, Kara is more than happy to call me. It's great. Except for the fact that the call comes when she wakes up (and her father is still in bed). So yesterday, it was at 7am and today I was lucky ~ it was 7:25am.

The ONLY positive thing about Kara spending time at his house is the occassional sleep in for me...... well, guess what doesn't happen anymore lmfao.

Having said all of that, there's no way I will ask her not to call. I've never loved being woken so early in my life..... I just *wish* it was a little later in the day :)

xxx

(PS I just added the pic because I like it ~ she is just so beautful isn't she?)

Soon We'll Start Charging.....

Meet Sparkle and Twinkle (LMAO).

These are the latest addition to Kara's animal collection.

My friends just laugh now ~ every time they visit, there's a new pet and they give me grief :P

Honestly, I just cannot help it. Kara, since she was a baby, has had an affinity to animals. She's just always loved them and been great with them and I feel it's something I should encourage.... we go to the zoos etc but she says it's just not the same.

So now she is the proud owner of two birds, a cat, a dog, a rat, fish, snails and unfortunately, her stick insect died. She has her hopes set on a rabbit and turtle next but that won't be happening..... not this week anyway :P

Busy Days....

My girl came home on wednesday arvo and for the first 24 hours, we hugged almost constantly. She kept saying it felt like 100 nights, not only 4 but I'm just glad that first 5 day visit is over. Perhaps next time, her father will spend the time with her.... so convenient that his partner is a teacher :P He is such a selfish being.

We've been so busy.

The night K came home, I had her bestie over as a surprise and we had a small welcoming home party. She thought it was the best lol and the smiles on her face were priceless. She saw our lawn for the first time and I made her a sand pit ~ she loooooooves it.

Kara and Evan

Kara seeing the backyard (it was previously a mud pit) and sandpit!!!

For the next few days, we've had friends over and we just haven't stopped. Today we went to Monarto (an open range zoo in outer Adelaide) and after that, we stopped at Hahndorf for strawberry picking. Kara's been somewhat difficult (tired/unsettled) and I feel like all I've done is tell her off all day but there were some nice times despite that.....

Riding a Camel at Monarto Today

Feeding the Giraffes

Strawberry Picking ~ she LOVED this!

She ended the night off with a spa (her new favourite thing to do LOL) and her behaviour improved once I got a splitting headache and she reaslised she'd pushed me too far..... here's hoping for an answering-back free day tomorrow..... :P

Why after she's been a turd and I've told her off do I feel so guilty? I just hate being upset with my girl.

xx

I Need to Vent

I've tried realllllly hard to stay busy for these 5 days that Kara is with her father ~ really hard. I've just laid 50 square metres of turf, built a sandpit and am about to buy the materials for a roof..... I've been so busy.

This morning, I got a 6:50 phonecall. Of course I worry because Kara isn't at home sleeping. She is fine though... she rang me when she woke up to say hello and I asked where her Dad was. He was still asleep (which is fine ). Kara then went on to explain how it feels like she's been there for more than 4 days and she just wants to come home. She misses me and wants to see me. I assured her we would be together tomorrow and that it's important to spend some time with her Daddy (I really do hate lying to her but in these situations, what choice do I have? Do I tell her he's scum? I think not....)

Annnyway, 2 hours later, my mobile rings again and it's Kara again. She tells me she really misses me. She says she is OK which gives me some relief. I asked her what she was doing and where Daddy was. She said he's at work and that she's been staying with Cathy. My blood begins to boil. Actually, I think it may have passed boiling point.

Look, I totally understand that Dan has a partner. Obviously Kara will spend time with her and as hard as that is, as I don't know this woman, I accept that. It doesn't bother me who he sees, so long as Kara is treated with respect.

What infuriates me is this. My baby girl has been upset for weeks. She, for weeks, has cried and said how she doesn't want to go to her Dad's for 1, 2 or 3 sleeps, let alone 5 days (HER words). I have consistently told her it is good for her to spend time with her father. It's no surprise then, when, this morning, she said "Daddy isn't even here so why can't I just come home?". I just have no answer for that. I had to remain calm but I want to see this man suffer. I hate him ~ I know it's not healthy but he is such a naristic, arrogant, power playing pig.

Ahhhh, that feels better.

Belle

Two years ago today, the unthinkable happened. A beautiful family lost their divine 3 year old girl ~ Belle.

Over the past year, I have got to know your Mummy Belle and so far, all that I've seen is an amazing person with a heart of gold. You are just so so so very missed Angel and I wish I had the opportunity to meet you. I wish your Mummy, Daddy and Sister didn't have to experience what they are today ~ missing you so very desperately.

You've made a difference to this world sweet girl. Because of you, many children travel safer than they otherwise would have, including my Kara.

http://isabelle-broadhead.memory-of.com/About.aspx

Something You Don't Often See

My baby went to her father's today for 5 days ~ I'll probably blog 25 times a day to distract my mind.

Today, before she left, we were taking pics of all of her pets. She insisted I take some of the fish tank and so, of course, I did. She got anything she wanted for the past 24 hours LOL.

So, whilst taking a photo, I noticed this......

Off I went to google it and yep, it's a snail penis ROFLMFAO Apparently, they are non-species specific and will mate with just about anything(in this case, a clam)..... it's gross, fascinating and funny (especially to Kara) all at the same time :)

My angel with her pet rat, Violet. She just adores her.....

The Impromptu Road Trip....

ARGGGGGHHHH

Tuesday night, I went to the airport to send my nephews back home to Melbourne.... they are 8 and 12 years old.

Upon our arrival, I took Jaye to the checkin counter and the staff at Tiger Airlines inform me that children under 14 are not allowed to travel unaccompanied ~ not even at an extra expense (****I did not book the flights ~ I would read the conditions lmao....a man did it haha). So, basically, we were stuffed.

The next morning, Kara, Jaye, Zak and I drove to Melbourne. It was not at all planned ~ the animals were not organised, no packing was done, Kara has school still blah blah blah. I feel soooo buggered, although it's also been great to catch up with people. We head home on Monday and I'm not one bit looking foward to the drive.... as good as Kara is.

Today, we met up with some friends at an indoor playground and look at this pic of my daughter and her cousin..... oh the love :P

And this.... I always get roped in to going down the slides :P

Oh and my girl doing her best to induce heart failure in me..... this slide is SO steep.

It Only Took Two Years......

LOL


About two years ago, I bought a chair, table and footstool set for Kara's bedroom. It was exactly what I wanted but it needed some work... the paint was crappy and the fabric on the chair was blah. I've been wanting to paint them and recover the chair since the day it came home...... well, I finally did it today pmsl.


In our old place, Kara had a feature wall and she's been nagging to have it here also ~ I painted it today and inbetween coats, did the chair and table..... within 4 hours, the lot was done. Amazing what you can do once you decide to do it....


Here is the result.... I made the quilt and covered the chair in the larger floral. I just looooove it!!!

I looooove the cupboard in the corner ~ it was an Ebay bargain that I did up and added the fabric to....

Happy Easter!

THERE ARE EGGGS THERE ARE EGGGS.....


That's how I woke up yesterday and I would have wanted it no other way :) We have had the BEST few days together.


Easter Saturday was a nice surprise ~ 2 of my nephews are down from Melbourne (I didn't know they were coming until 2 days earlier) and so we spent the day with my mum, Fred, Nanna and Jaye.... Jaye then came home with us and is now staying for a week LOL. Having the distraction will be nice and he's old enough (12) to not have to be constantly entertained.


Yesterday was great too. We had lunch at Mum's place and watched the Crows lose (pmsl) and ate way too much...... for coffee and chocolate lovers, you HAVE to do this!!!! I've been melting my (cadbury) eggs in the microwave (in a mug) and then making a coffee as I normally would. OMFG it is soooooo nice..... I'll be doing it until my egg is gone lol.


This year, instead of competing with the Easter Bunny with more eggs, I bought Kara a couple of eggs and a gift. I found a Disney Princess CD player ($19 BARGAIN!!!!) which has straps etc with it and gave that to her instead. As you can see below, it's an absolute winner!


I hope everyone in cyberspace had a good few days ~ we've loved the break.

Crappy Pic of my angel dancing, but I wanted to get the outfit in LOL. This is the third set she's had for easter LOL

This morning with her CD player.... sooo funny :)