Go Hawks!

:D

I actually barrack for Carlton but I sooooo wanted the hawks to win yesterday... I tipped them to win by 24 points, so I was pretty close :)

I spent the day down at the river with some friends (mums from school) and omg it was hilarious. A few of them had been there since Friday night but I couldn't go because Miss K was home until Saturday morning (3 more sleeps.....). So, upon arriving, most were still drunk from the night before lol.

I haven't been to a country pub for a looooong time and the locals are a hoot. The atmosphere was excellent with the occassional stumbling person dropping like a fly lmao. I would post some pics but I may never be spoken to by the photographed mums again....

Kara and I went crabbing (again) with some friends a couple of weekends ago and as usual, it was so much fun. I couldn't help but laugh at turning to see Kara relaxing....she's so funny.

And on Friday, Kara's school had "odd bods" day. It's basically casual day but the kids wear whatever they want... there were some classic ensembles LOL. Kara won the best dressed in her class pmsl, which didn't really excite her until she found out she won $2 :P

Oh, how could I forget..... meet Pepper... don't ask. (and to the ever so charming G, I'm surprised you knew what Munchasuen by pet would mean.... you must have grown a brain!)

Poor Baby (or Big Girl if K reads this....)

:)

My girl doesn't like being called a baby anymore lol but sometimes it just slips out.

Last week and the week (and months) prior, Kara counted the days until the Royal Show. She was sooooo excited. She had two money boxes to save for it and often put her canteen money in there instead of buying a treat at school lol.

On the wednesday morning, she woke buzzing about the day finally arriving but within 20 minutes or so, she got a headache and just wasn't herself. She had panadol and we went to the show but left after a couple of hours.

That evening, she woke struggling to breathe and we ended up in hospital that night. She had severe croup and was sick for the rest of the week. She's had croup before but even so, I panic when it happens. She was so disappointed about not being well for the show ~ I'm trying to think of something exciting for her to do this weekend to make up for it.

Kara's Fav Ride ~ it was horrid lmao.

Kara with her bestie....

My girl's prizes....

Kara's Fav Outfit.... (just thought I'd tack this on lol)

Karma

I heard on the news tonight that James Miller, one of the Truro murderers, is dying of Cancer.

Juliet, pictured above, was the neice of a dear friend and she lost her life to this monster and his lover. She was 16 years old and according to all that knew her, had so much to give this world. Obviously I never met Julie but I do know what her family (to some extent) went through (and still do) and to think it was all out of pure evilness angers me (especially now that I'm a mum).

When I heard the news tonight ~ that James Miller will die in prison and not be released when he is able to apply in 2013 ~ , the first word that came to mind was Karma. He will never go through what the families of the seven women/children he killed went through but at least now he will experience pain.

Rest in peace Julie ~ you're still thought of by many many people, including myself. x

Busy Busy Busy

Gosh ~ when does it stop??!!


It's just been such a busy couple of months and I rarely feel like I have 5 minutes to myself. I'm still only working 3 days a week (and only part time for those days lol) but fitting that in and spending much needed time with my girl is a hard juggling act. Something has to give and usually it's the housework ~ it's sooooo messy atm but I figure I'll get to it some time... there are more important things to do :)


Adelaide has provided some gorgeous weather of late, so Kara and I have been spending heaps of time outdoors. I've been very slack on the photo front and am still getting all of my programs back onto here after dropping the lappy..... what a pita that's been lol. I've added a few below :)


With everything that's been going on, I've been so slack with healthy eating and exercise ~ It's making me feel soooo blah and I've put on so much weight... I'm the heaviest I've been since being pregnant and I absolutely hate it. I'm starting an exercise program tomorrow (can you sense my enthusiasm NOT) and will try my hardest to cut out choccies, BBQ shapes and rose'. Wish me luck ~ I need ample of it LOL.

xxxx

Kara and Monique ~ Kara's Bestie.... they adore each other and it's soooo lovely.

We went to the zoo a couple of days ago and I loooove this shot ~ mainly because the buggers kept swinging and never stopped!!

Miss K was amused for hours at the zoo by this bug that fell on my head and freaked me out...

Another of her creatures .... she loves them! (excuse the mess in the background LOL)

Some Time Out

Things have been so hectic of late and to be honest, I'm not even sure why. Kara woke this morning whining about having to go to school and she just looked so tired, so we decided she could stay home. She really needed it and so did I ~ we don't get enough one on one time with school and visits with her father... when she is home, she has a constant stream of friends visiting lol (which I love) but today was just Mummy Kara time.

The weather was perfect, so we went treasure hunting at the beach lol. It was the BEST day. She's such a gorgeous little girl to be around and she makes me so proud.

Here are some pics of her today and one from a few weeks back. I'm still trying to get the computer running properly ~ it's doing my head in!

(Kara has a thing about jumping in photos atm LOL)

Happy Birthday to Two Gorgeous Princesses in my Life

Today is a special day, for two reasons.



To Miss Sage, my gorgeous 4 year old neice in Melbourne, HAPPY BIRTHDAY gorgeous girl. Kara desperately wanted to come to see you today but I just couldn't get organised in time . I hope you got spoilt (which I know you would have) and mummy lets you eat your entire cake. I love you so much xxxx



And to little Ava ~ I can't imagine you doing anything else but dressing up in heaven and dancing all day long. There are so many people thinking about you today angel and just as many hurting for your entire family. Happy 5th birthday Superprincess..... I wish you were with Mummy celebrating today.

Kara and Sage 2007

Ava and Kara December, 2006

Crap lol.

On friday night, as I actually pulled my butt of the couch, I tripped on the mouse cord of my laptop and the whole laptop went flying and smashed onto the ground ARGHHHHHHHHHH.

I lost the whole hard drive and am in the process of *trying* to get it running again. THANK GOD I backed up my photos only days earlier (and hadn't done so since february), so I didn't lose 6 months worth of pics. I think that fact has kept me from stressing about losing everything else lol.

It's a PITA though because I can't upload any pics from my camera. I have Kara's computer (which I'm on now) but I don't want to cram her hard drive with loads of pics, as it's not that big as it is.

Sooooo, that's what I've been doing the past few nights lol. Hoping like crazy that I can fix my lappy (and watching the Olympics!!!!).

Hope you're all well out there in cyberland ~ I've got a lot of blog catching up to do :)

xx

True Friends

It seems like I haven't been on here for ages ~ maybe because I haven't lol. I'm finding I have less and less time on the computer but despite that, my house is still a mess, jobs aren't getting done and I feel like I don't stop. I'd much rather be a full time stay at home mum lol but that's no longer a choice.

I've been really up and down lately ~ no reason really ~ just not feeling myself. Today's been a bit of a shocker but it's amazing how a bad day can show you how lucky you are to have the friends you do.

I feel lucky today. I feel lucky because when I was reaching rock bottom, some friends pulled me up before I hit there. Thank you.

And to my little Miss ~ I DO love you more than you love me :P xxxxx (an ongoing argument we have lol)

I love this pic of Kara when she was 1 ~ it makes me smile :)

Just for Kristen :P

LOL

Hellooooo ~ I've been slack but am sure you all coped just fine lol.

It's been a mad couple of weeks.

Last week, my sister came from Melbourne (unexpectedly) with the kids and we spent heaps of time at my Mum's so Kara could see them (and so I could too of course). It was a nice surprise to see everybody and takes a bit of pressure off of me to get my girl to Melbourne to see her Aunty and cousins... she loves them all so much and we haven't been there for a while.

The beginning of the first week was hard ~ Kara was at her dad's for 4 nights and it was the slowest time she's spent away so far. By the fifth day, I was just busting to see and hug her. She went again last night for 3 nights and let me tell you, I'll be glad when the holidays are over in a way ~ I just can't stand the extended visits (the kicking and screaming as she leaves doesn't help). I miss her terribly.

Early this week I met a 'cyber friend' that I used to be on a forum with ~ it was lovely finally getting to see her and meet her kids. It's amazing how you feel instantly at ease with somebody when all you've ever done is typed messages to one another :)

Apart from that, Kara and I have just spent time together. It's been so lovely. We've been to the zoo, played games, gardened, baked and just hung out with one another. I appreciate my time with her so very much and nothing is more enjoyable than just being her mum....

Soooo, all in all, it's been full on ~ I'm trying to get back into some sort of routine but it's not working. I was sick this morning and haven't moved from the couch all day lol. I am sooooo dreading Monday (back to school and up early) but at least my girl will be home :)

xxx Happy Birthday Belle xxx

Belle, I hope with all my heart that you were spoilt rotten in heaven on this special day~ so many of us have had you foremost in our thoughts today.

Happy 6th birthday sweet girl

xxxxxx

http://isabelle-broadhead.memory-of.com/About.aspx

I Shouldn't Laugh BUT....

My baby got her first report from school today ~ it was kind of strange reading it .... I still don't believe I have a school girl.

Anyway, I was reading through it with Kara by my side and it was pretty much what I expected. Then however, I came across Science. I have a fairly good idea of what K does at school in different subjects ~ I know what she finds easy etc. She has whined all year about Science being "too easy and not stimulating" ~ this has been said about a few subjects but especially so for Science.

Then today, after many 'excellents', I get to Science and there's a 'satisfactory' for achievement and a 'satisfactory' for learning effort.... the latter is what concerned me more (not that I'm really concerned lol). I asked Kara why she thinks she got a satisfactory for Science and wondered if she was finding it a little tricky. Her response ~ "Are you kidding me Mummy? It's too easy and I'm bored shitless every time we have it".

Ok ~ I shouldn't have laughed but I couldn't help it.

Can't Sleep

Well, so much for listing (on Ebay), cleaning, sewing..... all I've done tonight is sit on my butt and eat crap. Miss K is with her dad tonight, so as usual, I'm wide awake and will be for a few more hours.... I sleep so much better when she's happily tucked in bed at her home....

Anyway, I just looked through some pics and had a chuckle at the pelican one above. My friend's daughter turned 5 last week and she had a party at the zoo. The pelicans (which I find extraordinary to look at), were very close to their fence, so I thought I'd take a pic..... well, I ended up crapping my pants. As I was getting ready to shoot, the pelican swung its head to my direction and went for the camera. I jumped back and as I did, pushed the button on the camera (without intention). At the time, it was so funny......Kara loves the pic because when she zooms in, she can see down it's throat. A bit gross really lol.

School holidays next week, so I might be a little quiet for a while :P Kara has to go for 5 days again, so neither of us are all that keen... bring on wednesday week. I HATE the first week of holidays:(

Bragging...... again :P

For what it's worth, I think Kara is bright :P She amazes me daily with what she knows and what's even more impressive is that she teaches herself constantly. She will sit down for hours and do maths. She will get home from school and write stories (that make sense!). She always wants to learn and always has.

The past few months, I suppose because I spend so much time around other 5 year olds, I appreciate her knowledge even more... if that's possible. With maths for example, she goes through her 2, 3, 5 and 10 times tables. She knows addition, subtraction, multiplication and some basic division. She loooooooves to play Yahtzee and kicks my butt when she does lol. She sits in the back seat on the way home and reads the school newsletter.... she still stumbles but she's only 5.... how has she learnt soooooo much in so little time? She amazes me.

Tonight, we were reading a book about the life cycle of a butterfly. One of the first pages was explaining how the caterpillar uses its silk to keep the leaf it's in folded over. I asked Kara if she could think of a reason as to why it would do this. Her response was simply "to protect itself from it's predators of course". She then suggested it would also protect the 'creature' from bad weather.

I know I'm rambling lmao but I wanted to make sure I start keeping track of some of her comments. I'm SO SO SO proud of you sweet girl. xxx

And just a couple of pics.... Miss K had her first disco a couple of weeks ago and requested I make silver stretch pants (thanks to the Bratz)......

And this was taken on Tuesday ~ in her new (Mummy made :P) school pini and most importantly to K, scrunchies .... she looks so grown up.... and yes, she also looks stunned. That's what I get when I ask her to open her eyes (as opposed to squinting....).

Photos From a Five Year Old

I'm a proud mummy. Kara has always loved to take pictures ~ always. She has hogged my little camera since she was about 3, so last year I got her the kids Fisher Price one. It was the best money I've ever spent on a toy for her ~ she used it over and over and over again.

Last week I decided she needed a big girl's camera. The Fisher Price one is great for a toddler because it survives falls but the actual photos aren't that clear. So I just got a basic (cheap) Kodak digital camera and it's soooo good for her. Easy to use (she even half presses the shutter button to allow auto focus lol) and Kara thinks it's the best.... I need to upload some of my pics of Kara taking pics (it was so cute!) lol but here are some she took at the zoo last week. I think they are so good for her age ~ she'll be stoked when she sees that I've blogged them :)

Sometimes It's Too Much

I write this post hesitantly, as I know there are bloggers out there who judge me on my weakness. But, it is how I'm feeling, whether it be admirable or not and this is my blog, so off I go....

I know there are so many people out there with problems which far exceed my own. I know (and hate that) there are mums out there without their babies in their lives. I know that I'm one of the luckiest people to have Kara in my life.

But I also know what it's like to slowly have your time with your child cut short, bit by bit. And I hate it. Knowing that in less than 18 months, I won't see my girl for a week at a time is too much to take in. I just don't know how to cope when I have 'dips' like the one I'm in. Usually I just ignore that it will happen, but sometimes it hits me hard.

For the past few weeks, Kara has been somewhat distant. She's been nasty, argumentative and just generally answering back ~ constantly. All of this, I know, is normal for a five year old. I understand that ~ I don't like it, but I understand it. But when I express my concern with her father and he tells me she's been angelic and over affectionate, alarm bells ring. Everybody keeps saying it's because she's most comfortable at home ~ she even says "I always have to be nice, so I let my nastiness out with you because I'm more comfortable". Most of the time I almost 'appreciate' that but at the moment, I just want my little girl back.

So in a nutshell, I'm feeling so bad. I'm losing the baby I brought into the world and I'm missing her so much. Some days it feels so overwhelmingly difficult ~ like I've already 'lost' her to him. I know how manipulative he is and I know he's working on her. I also know that I have to keep it together for Kara's sake but at the moment, I'm failing.

All I want is to be my girl's mum. I don't want her left with others when I am here to care for her. It all feels so very wrong.

No More Rats

Well, that's what I said last Friday to to the vet ~ they have cost me a fortune in the past. But then, on Sunday, I called around Adelaide searching for one. I just knew if Kara came home to an empty cage that she'd find Violet gone harder......

After about 15 calls and having to answer "do you want a live or frozen one" a dozen times, I finally found a female. I drove to get her and as I was about to leave the carpark, I wondered if she should have a friend. Sooooo, I went back in and bought a Rex Rat (curly coat/whiskers). So now we have two..... they better survive.

On Monday night, Kara said to me "Mummy, thanks so much for buying Sally and Dasher because I wouldn't have survived if you didn't". She's so darn cute.

V xxx

Sally

Dasher ~ named so because she kept running away from Kara

It Shouldn't Make Me THIS Happy, But It Does...

GO THE BLUES

I get soooooo much flack for following them and a lot of that comes from Port supporters, so to win from 30 points down at 3/4 time (in the WET) makes me a happy Jan.

:) :) :) :) :) :)

OK, off to do something worthwhile now :P

:(

I know I've been far from positive lately ~ it's just been such a crappy couple of weeks. Well today is hopefully the peak of the low time.....

I woke at 3am to Kara vomitting everywhere..... not nice. My poor girl was feeling awful today and her father has her this weekend ~ it angers me more than I can express that my daughter doesn't have the right to stay home when she's sick. I hope that if she vomits, it lands all over him. He is just so selfish.

Then this evening, I took Violet (Kara's pet rat) to the vet. She just hadn't improved and over the past couple of days, got worse. The vet said that she was in pain now and she felt Violet was close to dying and suggested putting her to sleep. Kara was already at her dad's and I really didn't know what to do. I know she's just a rat but she's Kara's favourite pet ~ by far. I wasn't sure if I should wait until monday to let Kara see her first but I decided not to. I think it would have been too stressful for my girl.

So now, this weekend is going to be a reallllly long weekend. I'm worried about how K will react to not having Violet and to top things off, I think I'm getting her bug......I need a holiday. I'm thinking of a Melbourne trip for a weekend to take Kara to the footy, zoo and just hang out. Depends on Ebay sales LOL.

xxxx

Honesty is the Best Policy.....

HAHAHAHAHAHA

Who came up with that crappy saying???

Why do people ask for opinions if they don't really want an honest answer? It really sh*ts me.

I can't stand it when a friend puts you in a situation that you can't squirm out of ~ when they ask you something that you either have to be honest with or totally lie about BUT at the same time, you know that the truth isn't what they want to hear.

Well, I can't lie ~ especially about 'big' things. So, if you don't want an honest answer, don't ask me :P

Now, Miss K.

I walked into her room last night and she was crying and looking at herself in the mirror. I asked her what was wrong and she got really upset and said "why am I so ugly Mummy". Gulp. It took all my strength to not scoop her up and cry.... I, of course, told her she is just beautiful, inside and out, to which she said "No I'm not. We're the ugly family". Well, thanks babe LMAO.

Seriously though, I felt sooooo sad for her. I asked her teacher today and apparently there are a couple of kids saying negative things about themselves and others and obviously some kids take it onboard more than others. How can 5 years of 'I love you', 'you're gorgeous', 'you're divine' etc. be undone in a few days. It scares me that she's already thinking negatively of herself.

Retail Therapy Strikes Again...

ARGGGGGGHHHHH

Well, after taking Kara to school and literally having to peel her from me (her father picks her up today), I felt really shit to be blunt. She's regressed big time with the visits and it drags me down...

So, of course, nothing perks me up a like a bit of shopping. Given that our new birds died about a week after we got them (found both of them dead at the bottom of the cage...), I thought I'd get a turtle. Kara and I have had the class turtle a few times now and she's really good with him and he's so easy to care for. I was speaking to somebody about them today and apparently it's difficult to get long neck turtles due to the drought (their breeding is wayyyyy down), so when I found one, I had to have him. He is soooooooooooooooo small and soooooooooooo cute ~ I took a pic near a $2 coin to show you :) His shell is about 2cm (under an inch) in diameter and I'm scared I'm going to kill him too LOL.

Kara has show and tell tomorrow and the topic is "Your Pets". I need to take in some pics for her and I'm going to add one of the turtle to surprise her. I'll take him in too ~ she will be so rapt.

xx

** I had to add the above pic LOL ~ he is sooooo tiny and his tank so big. Kara met him today and has named him Tom (my first guess) ~ she just LOVES him.

Some Quick Pics

I'm feeling really crappy atm so won't type much but wanted to put a few pics up from today.

We went crab hunting with some friends and Kara LOVED it. I was quite amazed at how many crabs there were ~ we caught about 50 but let them all go before leaving of course....

Hope you're all well out there in blogger land.

xxx

So Divine....

I finally bought a heap of frames to display some pics of Kara (most are just on the computer...) and so I've been looking through photos from the last 5 years. There are so many but there are some from 18 months ago that really shocked me. Kara has grown SO much from 4-5 ~ she looked like a baby then.....

And a newborn pic ~ she wasn't quite 2 days old here.... I NEED another one :P

I Still Hate It.....

I'll keep this short lol.....

My girl just left with her father for three nights....it seems like it's weeks. When the sleepovers started (18 months ago now), everybody kept saying "You'll get used to it. You'll enjoy the break". Pft.

I farking hate it, as does Kara. I didn't have a child to ship her off at every opportunity. I had her to watch her grow, be with her, love her. Yes, she needs to be away from me at times to develop independance, but she doesn't need 3 nights for that :P

I hate that in less than two years, I won't see my baby for a week at a time. When I think about it, everything falls apart. How will I do it?

Oilily and Fred Bare!!!!!

I know some of you loooove the above, so I thought I'd stick a quick post here to tell you to look at my ebay listings :P

Over the next few weeks, I will be listing at least 100 items in size 4-6 from Kara's wardrobe. A couple of you have asked me in the past to let you know when I list, so I thought this was the easiest way!!

My Ebay id is "fredbare!" and there will be a lot of summer gear.

( a link!!!! http://cgi.ebay.com.au/ws/eBayISAPI.dll?ViewItem&rd=1&item=220236807823&ssPageName=STRK:MESE:IT&ih=012)

xxxx

Poor Violet :(

I know sooooo many of you cringe at the thought of a rat ~ I am forever getting shit about owning one from friends lol.

But, just like Charlotte and Sweety (our cat and dog), Violet is one of our pets both Kara and I are attached to her just as much (if not more) than them (our love birds died btw ~ both were dead at the bootm of their cage on thursday and I have nfi why.....).

Anyway, Violet isn't well :( We took her to the vet today ($75 later....) and she is on antibiotics and an anti-inflammatory..... she has some respiratory problem.

Kara's upset about the prospect of her dying soon and has been holding and loving her a lot today.... I'm hoping the drugs improve her a bit and she lives for a bit longer...

She's sooo cute :P