Missing

September 2009

WOW... 5 months. How slack have I been???

I just don't know where to start. I don't even really know what's happened since August ~ my mind has been occupied with the same old battle ...

As I type, Kara is in Canada with her father. She has been gone for two weeks tomorrow and there is still another week to go. How do I put into words how I feel? Tonight's been a bad night so all of the negative emotions are amplified but even on a good day, the feelings are similar ~ just not so intense.

My chest feels like it's going to collapse. The worry that she's not doing ok engulfs me ~ there's been very little communication, so I have no idea where Kara is emotionally. I hope with my all that she's in a different space to what I'm in. I really do hope she's having fun. I'm also looking forward to being able to sleep once she's home!!

In a couple of weeks, we go back to court. I can't even type what the suggested outcome of that is ~ maybe I'll save that for my other blog... just keep my girl in your thoughts (or prayers if you believe).....

Something good that's come out of this mess?? When you're in need, emotionally, it really does bring out who is there for you in your life. I have had soooo many messages from friends who don't live near me but one friend in particular has been **amazing**. She and her husband have let me spend so much time with them and their gorgeous kids and honestly, I don't know what I would have done without them. When you feel like I've been feeling, there is nothing more important than people giving you their time and I will never forget how much they've done for me.... I've been so lucky. Thanks Sue and Andrew (they'll probably never read this LOL).

So what else has happened?? Ummm..... Kara has lost some teeth!!! Even without them, she is still adorably gorgeous :P. She also turned 7 and finished grade 1 :(. She still amazes me every single day with her knowledge and strength and I still look at her wondering how it was me that got to be her Mummy. Again... lucky.

I started a new job... it's doing the same thing as I was before but for a different company. I love it there... not the work so much but the work environment ~ a great bunch of people who have been so understanding with my state of mind since Kara left.

Unfortunately, on New Year's Day, we lost an amazing person. Michael, whom I worked with and learnt from whilst doing my undergrad and post grad studies at uni, passed away. He truly was a remarkable being. He had an amazing mind but his character was strikingly unique. He will be sadly missed by me and so many others.... it's just not fair the way life works sometimes.

I'm sure so much else has happened but I just can't remember what it is! I'll add a *few* pics of my princess... she's changed a lot since August.

Oh.... Em..... you ready to laugh some more??? You may recall about 6 months ago, that a guinea pig I purchased for Kara had a baby a few weeks later.... she was pregnant when we got her and we didn't know.

Well, Milky, the result, stayed on with us because she was a girl..... Kara couldn't part with her, so we decided two guinea pigs are no more difficult that one. Well, that would be true, but Milky actually is a boy... we now know. On Christmas Day, Muncher had three more babies... needless to say Milky and Muncher are no longer anywhere near each other.....

Birthday Girl ~ November 7th, 2009

Kara and Moni

Kara on Christmas Day... she LOVES Pictureka!

Another Christmas Day Pic... too cute.