:(
I cannot believe it's only been two days. There are still 5 to go and it seems like weeks away. Leaving Kara in the circumstances that I did yesterday has just made everything so much harder ~ I suppose that was his intention. To run me into the ground.
I spent today at a friend's house and there were heaps of kids there. In one way, it provided a distraction which I find I need a lot of atm but in another, it's so hard watching them all play and thinking about how Kara is missing out. I just wanted her there so much. She would have loved it. To not know where she is. What she's doing. Who's she's with. If she's ok or if she's down ~ it's just so hard. The moment I get home and think about her, everything just feels like it's sinking. My chest feels a thousand times heavier. I miss her so much but worry about her probably even more.
I tried calling her but as usual, her phone has been turned off. She will only ring me when her father is in the shower or not within earshot ~ I really need to hear her voice. I need to know she's doing ok.
Why does it have to be like this? Why does he have to put me down in front of Kara to build a bond with her? Why does he want me to be so upset knowing it will affect the way I am with my girl? Why did I ever tell him I was pregnant?
I wish I was a stronger person.
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4 comments:
Hope you get to speak to your sweet girl soon.
My heart breaks for you Vanessa ~
Sending big hugs your way.
Take care XXXXX
Vanessa, gosh my heart breaks for you!! Hubby & I had Saturday night away without the kids, we had a good time but man we missed the kids! Get busy & stay busy, so busy that you just fall into bed at night! hopefully the time will fly! Kara is one lucky little girl to have you as her mum, & you told that arsehole (sorry!!) because you're a good person & you choose to do what's right! Hang in there your baby girl will be home soon!
take care,
love & hugs,
t. xxxxx
Vanessa,
You are strong. No doubt of that. But strength doesn't mean you can't feel pain, my friend. Strength and pain: you've got both in spades.
You can go on, and you will go on - no matter how hard it gets. Because you have to. Because you want to.
She'll be home soon. Back with the one who loves her most of all.
Jane
You know why it has to be like this....he put's you down in front of Kara because he's an imbecile (i cant actually spell that word) and it's his way of making him look better...or so he thinks.
As for the why did you ever tell him you were pregnant, don't you wish you could just take it back? BUT, you had no idea things would turn out as they have. your going through a really shitty time but you WILL get through it.
Your bond with Kara is so much stronger than anything Dan can ruin. Yes he's a prick to you and yes it's wrong, actually WRONG WRONG WRONG but it won't last forever and you are doing such fantastic job of battling all of this shit on your own.
hang in there,
Love em
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