Sunday 27 January 2008

Another Battle...

:(

Kara starts school on Tuesday. It should be fun and exciting for her and for the most part, that is the case. Of course though, there has to be the usual PITA.

The current court orders that we have in place state that her father is to have her alternate monday evenings. Due to Australia Day, this monday is a public holiday, meaning Kara starts school on Tuesday. Unfortunately, that means she should be going to her father's house tomorrow night. When we went through court, I checked that she was at home for that Sunday night, but stupidly, I didn't realise there was the holiday....

Problem number one ~ Kara truly wants to stay home tomorrow night. I more than positively assured her I would meet her at school on Tuesday but whenever we discuss that, she ends up in tears, demanding to stay home. She just does not want to go. Despite continual encouragement, that has not changed. She is absolutely sure of what SHE wants to do.

Problem number tw0 ~ her father is a selfish *$%#. I explained to him what is going on and he just does not care. He is of the opinion that Kara needs to learn to be comforted by him. Obviously that is correct ~ she has little choice as he is her father but should that lesson be taught on her first day of school? I think not. So, after attempting to make alternative arrangements (swapping the monday to tuesday and him also coming on the first day of school), I have given up. I've just settled Kara after tears (again) because she is worried she is going to be collected tomorrow night. She won't be collected tomorrow night because after 2 years of having to adhere to court orders which cause my girl stress, I am going against this one.

Whatever the consequence of this, it will be worth it if Kara is that bit happier and confident on her first day of her school life.

5 comments:

Mishy said...

Thanks for your comment Vanessa! I pray this year will be better and so far so good... but I don't want to jinx myself just yet LOL

Good on you for sticking to your guns! I agree Kara does not need the added stress of being somewhere she does not want to be when she is experiencing such a huge milestone the following day! I applaud your decision. Being the child of a messy divorce, I understand so totally the confusion & huge range of emotions Kara would be experiencing.

Now on to the serious part LOL... Miki is a size 4... please tell me your Ebay ID!! :)

Hugs,
Mishy

Sue J said...

Reading these last two posts of yours after visiting another heartbreaking blog, I am moved to suggest that you count your blessings on having a happy, healthy little girl who is alive to start school. That having as many people love her and want to be part of her life can be a good thing if you're prepared to let it. That life is so very precious and we should just be so grateful for it, including the challenges. You are in charge of your life and in charge of the way you react to what it throws your way. I would love to see you showing Kara how to be positive and optimistic and resilient and give her a chance to have a father-daughter relationship which so many children never get the opportunity to have. I just cannot believe that there is nothing of value in him wanting to be in her life. I truly can't. I know it's unlikely that you will approve and publish this comment, but I have bitten my tongue so many times and I am struck by how much you have that others have lost and just wanted to remind you. I Truly hope 2008 is a happy and less battle-ful year for you, your daughter and her father...
Sue J

Vanessa x said...

Sue, I too read heart breaking blogs and I do count my blessings that I have my beautiful daughter in my life ~ every single day. The fact that others in your world, or mine, or wherever else, have bigger problems than my own, do not make my problems insignificant. Nor do they make the problems of others insignificant.

This blog is a place for me to release my frustrations about my life. It's a place for me to vent about Kara's father without it impacting on Kara. I need to do that, so, as you put it, I can be positive and optomistic in front of my girl.

I cannot begin to understand why you would even compare my situation to what others have lost ~ it's more than obvious that their losses are so much greater than mine. I know that. I still am entitled to be 'stressed' about events I experience. We all are.

I'm sorry that you have felt the way you have ~ perhaps you should just not read my blog? My intent is not to cause you or anybody else frustration. It's to relieve my own frustration.

I appreciate you signing your name to your post and giving a respectful, even if misinformed, opinion.

Thanks for the well wishes. In one month, the 'battle' will be over and to say I am looking forward to that is an understatement.

Edie said...

I'd much rather you didn't bite your tongue...but bite your fingers off instead.

Then you couldnt type Sue ^.^

Vanessa x said...

Eden that is very immature.....not like you at all HAHAHAHA

It did however make me ROFLMFAO....