I was uploading some pics (not very great ones lol) but just looking at them lifted my spirit. Look at her!! She's adorable and she's the reason why I have to believe things will work out. If they don't, there's always China :P
Kara loves her 'computer' ~ she just scored 100 points, hence the arms in the air! Although it may be obvious, she is in dress ups :P
I just LOVE watching her draw ~ the detail of some of Kara's pictures is so good for her age and I'm a proud Mama!
Monday, 23 July 2007
I Feel Like Crap
Physically and mentally.
I have some shocking chest infection/flu, so I feel so sick atm and I'm guessing that may be why I am down emotionally too. I'm having one of those days where everything just feels too much ~ like one more day of not knowing what will be happening with Kara will tip me over so to speak.
Kara's been asking a lot of questions of late and some of them are just too difficult to answer. Things like "why do I need a daddy anyway", "I hate sleeping over Mummy ~ what if he makes me go there 3 nights" and the hardest to date, by far, "Mummy, I really don't want to have two homes. If daddy really does love me, why would he do this to me?"
I am getting sick of having to answer these questions and feel he should have to. He should be explaining to her what I just can't anymore. She SHOULDN'T have to have 2 homes, she shouldn't have such instability in her life. He shouldn't be able to cause it.
So many people say it's best for her to have a father in her life but how can I even begin to believe that when he plays the games he does. Perhaps when I see him put my child's interests first, I will begin to understand the importance of him in her life. Until then, I simply despise the man.
Fortunately, he is off sailing for 3 weeks. 3 weeks. If only it was 3 years.
I have some shocking chest infection/flu, so I feel so sick atm and I'm guessing that may be why I am down emotionally too. I'm having one of those days where everything just feels too much ~ like one more day of not knowing what will be happening with Kara will tip me over so to speak.
Kara's been asking a lot of questions of late and some of them are just too difficult to answer. Things like "why do I need a daddy anyway", "I hate sleeping over Mummy ~ what if he makes me go there 3 nights" and the hardest to date, by far, "Mummy, I really don't want to have two homes. If daddy really does love me, why would he do this to me?"
I am getting sick of having to answer these questions and feel he should have to. He should be explaining to her what I just can't anymore. She SHOULDN'T have to have 2 homes, she shouldn't have such instability in her life. He shouldn't be able to cause it.
So many people say it's best for her to have a father in her life but how can I even begin to believe that when he plays the games he does. Perhaps when I see him put my child's interests first, I will begin to understand the importance of him in her life. Until then, I simply despise the man.
Fortunately, he is off sailing for 3 weeks. 3 weeks. If only it was 3 years.
Tuesday, 17 July 2007
Don't Read if You're Over my Family Court Bagging :P
OK ~ I have no idea what, if anything, I can do but I have to try.
My daughter came up to me yesterday, out of nowhere after a 'normal' day and said.....
"Mummy, I love you. I really don't want to have 2 houses Mummy".
How do you answer that? She really DOESN'T want 2 houses. Why should she HAVE to have two houses. I think the law should make her father live in two houses like they are making her and that thought was prompted after somebody whom I don't know sent me this message.
Hi Vanessa,
It is so hurtful I know. How many adults do you know would want to live between two houses - none, yet we expect children to do it. Would her father want to live between two houses - no, I suspect not.
Remember this though - this is not about you or your beautiful little girl, this is about him...he wants to punish you, he wants to make up to Kara for not being around, he wants to have a good time with his child (now that she is old enough to be 'fun'), and probably wants to show off 'his possession' to his new girlfriend who will no doubt be caring for your daughter.
Any man who does this in my mind, does not have the child's best interests at heart and that is where the courts should start looking - motivation. You and I have found out the hard way that we (and our children) have no rights in the legal system.
Once this is all over, the best thing you can do is understand that the orders have to be complied with (l will never accept, but I have to go along with them). Also understand, that you are not responsible for the upset she is potentially going to incur - he is, but you will be there for her.
Thinking of you and hope I can help.
The law is so wrong. I have been through so many emotions in the past few weeks but at the moment, I just want to SCREAM at the stupid judges, politicians, fathers and most of all, Kara's father.
My daughter knows what she does and doesn't want. She is more than capable of expressing her views. She should have rights. She has no rights. That needs to change.
I will be reporting back with what's happening with this stuff on here ~ it's a really good way for me to release without it affecting Kara. Off to search for Voodoo dolls on Ebay :P
My daughter came up to me yesterday, out of nowhere after a 'normal' day and said.....
"Mummy, I love you. I really don't want to have 2 houses Mummy".
How do you answer that? She really DOESN'T want 2 houses. Why should she HAVE to have two houses. I think the law should make her father live in two houses like they are making her and that thought was prompted after somebody whom I don't know sent me this message.
Hi Vanessa,
It is so hurtful I know. How many adults do you know would want to live between two houses - none, yet we expect children to do it. Would her father want to live between two houses - no, I suspect not.
Remember this though - this is not about you or your beautiful little girl, this is about him...he wants to punish you, he wants to make up to Kara for not being around, he wants to have a good time with his child (now that she is old enough to be 'fun'), and probably wants to show off 'his possession' to his new girlfriend who will no doubt be caring for your daughter.
Any man who does this in my mind, does not have the child's best interests at heart and that is where the courts should start looking - motivation. You and I have found out the hard way that we (and our children) have no rights in the legal system.
Once this is all over, the best thing you can do is understand that the orders have to be complied with (l will never accept, but I have to go along with them). Also understand, that you are not responsible for the upset she is potentially going to incur - he is, but you will be there for her.
Thinking of you and hope I can help.
The law is so wrong. I have been through so many emotions in the past few weeks but at the moment, I just want to SCREAM at the stupid judges, politicians, fathers and most of all, Kara's father.
My daughter knows what she does and doesn't want. She is more than capable of expressing her views. She should have rights. She has no rights. That needs to change.
I will be reporting back with what's happening with this stuff on here ~ it's a really good way for me to release without it affecting Kara. Off to search for Voodoo dolls on Ebay :P
Charlotte
OMFG
Charlotte had the most gorgeous fur this morning ~ kind of!!! She still had all of her puppy fur and it was sooooo fluffy but it just kept matting. So today, she took her first trip to the doggy parlour and Kara and I haven't stopped laughing since LOL.
We went to pick her up and Kara looked at me and said "Mummy, is that Charlotte? That's not Charlotte is it?" She looks so funny and when we got home, the cat went crazy ~ she didn't recognise her LMFAO.
Monday, 16 July 2007
My Sister the Pet Owner
NOOOOOOT
All that know my sister, know that she loves her pets... for about 5 days. Then, when they piss everywhere, bark, scratch her couch or whatever, she hates them.
Well, recently, she bought a puppy. A divine Maltese which she doted on..... until tonight. I just told her how you have to squeeze the anal glands of these dogs and I was met by vomitting MSN emoticons and "OMFG ~ she is going into the Trading Post".
I cannot stop laughing. Just picturing her daily makeup routine being interupted with squeezing Molly's butt HAHAHAHA
All that know my sister, know that she loves her pets... for about 5 days. Then, when they piss everywhere, bark, scratch her couch or whatever, she hates them.
Well, recently, she bought a puppy. A divine Maltese which she doted on..... until tonight. I just told her how you have to squeeze the anal glands of these dogs and I was met by vomitting MSN emoticons and "OMFG ~ she is going into the Trading Post".
I cannot stop laughing. Just picturing her daily makeup routine being interupted with squeezing Molly's butt HAHAHAHA
Wednesday, 11 July 2007
His Little Game.....
Hate is a strong word but one which I cannot help using at the moment.
You may remember me posting that things were finally settling down with Kara's father. Well, last week, things were excellent!!! We had some proposed orders written up, they were presented at court and all that needed to happen, was they be typed up in the correct way and we sign them. We were all set and 16 months of absolute stress were over. I couldn't believe it.
Well, I shouldn't have believed it. On Monday, Kara's lovely father decided to send an email saying he doesn't agree (now) with heaps of the orders (he agreed to in court) and he wants a heap of deletions and additions. So, here we go again. Back to court in a few weeks to supposedly submit papers, but now, we will have to say it's still not agreed upon. He is going to look like a tosser, which is more than apt actually.
I wish he would sail away on his little boat and stop causing so much hurt to us. He really has no idea.
Ahhhh ~ that feels better.
You may remember me posting that things were finally settling down with Kara's father. Well, last week, things were excellent!!! We had some proposed orders written up, they were presented at court and all that needed to happen, was they be typed up in the correct way and we sign them. We were all set and 16 months of absolute stress were over. I couldn't believe it.
Well, I shouldn't have believed it. On Monday, Kara's lovely father decided to send an email saying he doesn't agree (now) with heaps of the orders (he agreed to in court) and he wants a heap of deletions and additions. So, here we go again. Back to court in a few weeks to supposedly submit papers, but now, we will have to say it's still not agreed upon. He is going to look like a tosser, which is more than apt actually.
I wish he would sail away on his little boat and stop causing so much hurt to us. He really has no idea.
Ahhhh ~ that feels better.
Tuesday, 10 July 2007
My Poser
It's rare these days for Kara's face to be uncovered when she sees the camera but today she loved her new outfit, ran to get her stool and started posing. The quality of the photos turned out crappy but you get the message LOL.
Kara's 100% better after out little ordeal the other night ~ she's been soaking up the special treatment :)
MWAH Babe xxx
Friday, 6 July 2007
A Horrid Experience :(
Last night, my baby wasn't well. She had a fever all day but in the late afternoon, we couldn't get it down. At 11pm, she started complaining of a sore neck and limbs and she was so so hot. Of course, I panicked and took her to the Children's Hospital, just in case.
On the way, Kara vomitted EVERYWHERE in the car. We arrived at the hospital and they were so good there ~ we were seen almost immediately. After an hour or two (time kind of gets muddled for me when Kara's sick lol), her temperature started to drop, but the doctors wanted to take blood to work out what was happening. Well, that was an experience in itself. Kara was genuinely terrified and it was just awful to see that. It took them about 15 mins in the end and I hated every single second of it.
Then, after a couple of hours, this happened. It was so awful. I am trying to focus on the fact that she is "OK" now, but at the time, the worst thoughts were going through my mind. Kara was looking at me. I was speaking with her and there was no reaction from her ~ nothing at all. After about 10 seconds, my speaking turned to screaming, but still no response. She had a glazed look and I was absolutely terrified. Her temperature was normal at this point, so I didn't think it could be anything to do with that ~ I really had no idea. I called over a doctor and it continued for a couple of minutes. She just wouldn't react to anybody. Then, I *think* I screamed and shook her and it made her scream. It was all just horrible.
At this point, the doctors suggested a Lumbar Puncture and I didn't want to even know the reasons why they wanted that, because I already knew. I said 'NO' and insisted we wait on the blood results before they put her through that and they agreed. They said she would stay the night and if there was no change in the morning, we would have to consider the Lumbar Puncture then.
Thank goodness, when morning came, my girl was a lot better. She's still hot and not herself but she's responding as she should be and she is eating and drinking. They sent her home with strict instrutions to rest.
I know Kara is OK but all day, I would look at her and just cry. It was just such an awful experience. Our kids are just too fragile.
I love you soooooooooooooooooooooooo much Princess and am so sorry you had to experience last night.
On the way, Kara vomitted EVERYWHERE in the car. We arrived at the hospital and they were so good there ~ we were seen almost immediately. After an hour or two (time kind of gets muddled for me when Kara's sick lol), her temperature started to drop, but the doctors wanted to take blood to work out what was happening. Well, that was an experience in itself. Kara was genuinely terrified and it was just awful to see that. It took them about 15 mins in the end and I hated every single second of it.
Then, after a couple of hours, this happened. It was so awful. I am trying to focus on the fact that she is "OK" now, but at the time, the worst thoughts were going through my mind. Kara was looking at me. I was speaking with her and there was no reaction from her ~ nothing at all. After about 10 seconds, my speaking turned to screaming, but still no response. She had a glazed look and I was absolutely terrified. Her temperature was normal at this point, so I didn't think it could be anything to do with that ~ I really had no idea. I called over a doctor and it continued for a couple of minutes. She just wouldn't react to anybody. Then, I *think* I screamed and shook her and it made her scream. It was all just horrible.
At this point, the doctors suggested a Lumbar Puncture and I didn't want to even know the reasons why they wanted that, because I already knew. I said 'NO' and insisted we wait on the blood results before they put her through that and they agreed. They said she would stay the night and if there was no change in the morning, we would have to consider the Lumbar Puncture then.
Thank goodness, when morning came, my girl was a lot better. She's still hot and not herself but she's responding as she should be and she is eating and drinking. They sent her home with strict instrutions to rest.
I know Kara is OK but all day, I would look at her and just cry. It was just such an awful experience. Our kids are just too fragile.
I love you soooooooooooooooooooooooo much Princess and am so sorry you had to experience last night.
Wednesday, 4 July 2007
OMG She is Closing her Eyes!!!!!!!!!
Sunday, 1 July 2007
Kara in Her Element!
Well, they let us in lmao.
We went to see the Cinderella Ballet today and Kara had the BEST time!!!! It started with 2 hours of craft (designing and making a plastic dress, a wand and a crown) and ended with Kara meeting the dancers. She just loved it.
The ticketing ended up working out really well. We got in with Kara allowed to sit on my lap and the theatre was packed, apart from the 2 seats next to us ~ I couldn't believe our luck.
Our next big day out will be next week to see "Varekai" by Cirque du Soleil ~ we've been watching bits on YouTube and neither of us can wait now!
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)