Physically and mentally.
I have some shocking chest infection/flu, so I feel so sick atm and I'm guessing that may be why I am down emotionally too. I'm having one of those days where everything just feels too much ~ like one more day of not knowing what will be happening with Kara will tip me over so to speak.
Kara's been asking a lot of questions of late and some of them are just too difficult to answer. Things like "why do I need a daddy anyway", "I hate sleeping over Mummy ~ what if he makes me go there 3 nights" and the hardest to date, by far, "Mummy, I really don't want to have two homes. If daddy really does love me, why would he do this to me?"
I am getting sick of having to answer these questions and feel he should have to. He should be explaining to her what I just can't anymore. She SHOULDN'T have to have 2 homes, she shouldn't have such instability in her life. He shouldn't be able to cause it.
So many people say it's best for her to have a father in her life but how can I even begin to believe that when he plays the games he does. Perhaps when I see him put my child's interests first, I will begin to understand the importance of him in her life. Until then, I simply despise the man.
Fortunately, he is off sailing for 3 weeks. 3 weeks. If only it was 3 years.
1 comment:
Thinking of you V, I know its really really hard but try not to let it get you down. Look at the next three weeks as an opportunity to regroup, spend some quality time on yourself and with Miss K.
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