Just When I Thought it was Almost Over....

...... Mr Control Freak hits again.

OK, I'm not too sure what to even say anymore. I'm shocked but I'm not. I'm angry more than anything I think.

We go to trial on Monday ~ well we are supposed to. So, after 2 years, the shit "should" end.

Rewind to last week.....

I was told that Kara's father applied to amend his application to shared care and wanted the trial moved forward. The magistrate CLEARLY refused. He said NO ~ it's too late and you've had 2 years to do this. We will run with the application you have before the court (which is asking for fortnightly weekends). I was rapt.

Fast forward to yesterday......

My lawyer calls. She informs me that he has amended his application anyway (to shared care). She says she is shocked and unsure what will happen. The trial may be moved and the new application heard. The new application could also be tossed out and we run with what we have had in front of us for the last two years. She's unsure which way it will go but is hoping for the latter.

Whatever you believe in, whether it be positive thoughts, prayer, whatever ~ please send them our way. Truly, I'm at the end of my tether with this court shit. I (and Kara) need it to be over so we can just enjoy our time together. I honestly do not know how I could continue on with it for another length of time.

Oh and as a side note..... this ever committed father (as he sees himself) forgot to pick up my baby girl from school yesterday :@ :@ My 5 year old girl was stranded..... his reason? He forgot.

I am so over all of this.

Getting There....

YAYYYYY

After 9 hours of packing and unpacking (two loads) from the moving truck, we finally finished at 6pm on wednesday night. Initially, it was quite enjoyable. There were 6 guys taking directions from me, whilst I sat on msn chatting LMFAO. But then, my phone line was disconnected, so I had nothing to do but help :P

There is crap EVERYWHERE. Basically, I have taken what we absolutely need out and the other 2o38083045 boxes are sitting in the garage.... I'll be unpacking a couple a day. The entire shed contents is outside (in the rain) and I don't even want to think about what's damaged now.....

All in all though, the house is starting to take shape. Still heaps to do but we'll get there :)

xxx

Off We Go......

Well, it's almost 2am here and I still have one room to pack.... with only 2 boxes left. I swear I will never hoard again. The amount of crap I have come across ~ that I don't even remember buying ~ is just ridiculous. My back hurts. I've had 8 hours sleep in 4 days and tomorrow is going to be full on.

When I found out we were moving, I was soooooo happy (I still am!!!). As I pack however, there's a tiny part of me that is finding it difficult. This place is where my baby girl grew up. Where she first walked, talked, played and had friends over (almost daily). Although it's cramped and an absolute mess due to ZERO storage, it's still been our home and it will be difficult to close the doors behind us.....

BUT the new place is just soooo us! It has storage, is open and NEW. I'm hoping like nothing else that it's the sign of things to come for us ~ very exciting.

My next post will be from within our new walls and I'm sure to bombard you with pics that will bore you to tears :P

xxxx

2 Hours To Go :)

Well, thanks to some fabulous (online and real life) friends, I made it through the 3 day weekend without my girl...... I only had one meltdown :)

On Friday afternoon, after our usual 'preparatory talk' Kara came up to me with a necklace she has that has a light on it.... she said this.......

"Mummy, when you miss me, just press this light, let it shine and know that i am missing and thinking of you even more"

It blew me away. She always does. She was wrong though ~ there's no way she missed me more :P

In 2 hours, she's going to get the biggest squeeze of her life.

Hannah's Message

Since the loss of Ava, I've been much more aware of just how many people lose their gorgeous children. I think it's so very important to learn from these angels and to share their legacies.

I'm so sorry to Hannah's parents and family.... that offers little comfort, I know.

http://www.hannahsfoundation.org/Media_Files/Kelly%20HIggins-Devine%20ABC%20Brisbane%2011-02-08_0001.wma

New Beginnings.

For two years, life has been hard. I know it's been much worse for others around me (some people seem to think I don't have the right to stress....) but it has been very difficult. I feel that is all about to change. I can't explain it, I just feel it.

Next week, my girl and I will have a brand new home. It's something I didn't think she would have with me for at least another 10 years LOL but it's happening now and I am so so very happy and excited about it. The floors are being done today, the oven getting put in and window dressings added. Tomorrow, it will be ready for us to start moving things in..... I cannot wait!!!!!

Also, I have recieved some promising news on the court front.... the trial is in 2 and a half weeks but we had a directions hearing last week. Yet again, he who I dislike lots and lots and lots (:P) tried to extend the trial, change his application AGAIN and requested more family assessments. The judge said NO, NO and NO and was not impressed that he even attempted these things, given we've been in court for almost 2 years. We have the same judge in 2 weeks and I hope he stays on that logic..... for my daughter's sake.

So, although just totally exhaused with school starting, moving, court and illness, for the first time in two years, I feel that things will be OK. I feel that Kara will be OK. I feel that 2008 will be such a brilliant year for us and I cannot wait until March the 4th!!!!

xxxx

Seventeen Years Ago......

I became an Aunty :) It was one of the most exciting days of my life ~ I was 14 years old and just so happy to have a nephew.

Today, Ricky turns 17 and I can't believe it ~ I'm sure my sister can't either!!!

I'm so proud of you Ricka. You've grown into an amazing person and both you and your Mum should be proud of that..... I've packed my photo albums for the move, so I'll add some embarrassing shots next week :P

Happy Birthday xxxx

Love to You Princess and Your Family

Tomorrow, in Kara's school newsletter, Ava's Rule will be circulated to the families of over 700 children. Thank you Sheye and Crayton and to you too Princess. xxx

(click to enlarge)

The Super Princess ~ Ava

One of the treasures the girls found ~ Sheye took the pic :)

Fourteen months ago, Kara and I had the massive privilege of meeting some beautiful people ~ the impact that this meeting would have on my life was something I didn't know at the time. Now though, I appreciate those few days more than I can possibly explain.

I will never forget meeting Ava (and of course her divine Mummy, Sheye and her brothers, Luca and Mason). I turned to look at her and tears welled in my eyes ~ I can not explain why that was so. I was so happy to finally meet Sheye and Ava but it was more than that ~ Ava was just 'more'. There was something about her and to this day, I cannot put it into words. Yes, she was beautiful to look at but she was also beautiful in so many other ways. She stole my heart.

Fast forward 14 months and Ava still has part of my heart. Not a single day passes when I don't think of her. Not a single day passes when I don't think about what her family is going through. I just can't imagine ~ I don't want to imagine. It's just too hard.

Ava left this world almost one year ago and the impact she has made is astounding. This has happened via the exceptional writings of her beautiful Mummy and from the simply gorgeous photos Sheye captured of her Princess.

Ava, you will never be forgotten sweet girl. Kara speaks with you as if you are here and I love that. Thank you for the changes you have brought into our lives and the lives of so many others.

I send so much love to you Sheye and of course to your whole family.

Thinking of you this week and always.

I love this photo ~ they were on a mission LOL

So Exciting....

..... well, it's official. Kara and I are moving homes in less than 3 weeks. Our current home is full of boxes and bags (all empty because I have trouble peeling my butt from this couch) and the packing is starting tomorrow (I WILL start tomorrow.....).

The house we are moving into is further from Kara's school but it's just so perfect for us. Longer travelling time is a small sacrifice. It's brand new (the floors are being done next week) and the kitchen/lounge area is open plan. The lounge leads to glass sliding doors which overlook the backyard ~ not a mansion by any standards LOL but we will be so happy there. Where we are atm is so boxy and cluttered ~ I can't see Kara if she's outside (which I hate due to having a trampoline), so I go out with her. In the new place, she can play outside as much as she likes and I will be able to keep an eye on her. It's a small thing but I'm so glad about it! It's also under 3 mins from the beach and if you know us, you know how much of a bonus that is!!!!

This is going to be a new beginning for us. Kara is so very excited (I was worried about more change and it's effect on her), as am I. After two years of difficult times, it feels like things are changing now.... finally.