And the Reason Is?

People often say everything happens for a reason. I've always had a problem with this saying. I disagree. I think there are some things that need not happen and the world would continue spinning in a more positive way.

So, where am I going with this? Three guesses.

Yes, I'm a broken record but this blog allows me to release so that's what I'm doing.

I've had a series of email exchanges with Kara's father tonight. Pointless really. They only ever validate what I think about him. He's a toe hair. He's selfish. He constantly attempts to lessen the bond I have with Kara. He is a waste of space. His new demand. I am not to attend anything that Kara has on when she is in his care. If I do, he won't take her. He is a massive control freak and he is threatened by the relationship we have. Don't get me wrong ~ I'm in no hurry to join social gatherings that he's at. BUT if my daughter has a school event, concert, party or whatever, why should her mother not be a part of that? How can 'shared parenting' work with such ludicrous demands? As much as I despise this man, I have always made a massive effort at events that we have both attended.

For two years I have tried to see the importance of Kara spending time with her father. I have read articles. I have spoken to other fathers ~ both nuclear and single. I have seeked professional advise to help Kara and myself deal with the massive changes that are occurring. I try to be positive about it all. Truly, I do.

But then he does what he does. He speaks me down to her. He makes her feel uncomfortable about phoning her Mum. He goes out of his way to paint me in a negative light to Kara. She, fortunately, sees through it all but it still hurts.

In the coming months, Kara will spend more time at her father's than ever before. She is extremely apprehensive about it all. She asks why it has to happen when he's not even there ~ why she just can't stay home with me. WHAT do I tell her? How do I tell my girl it's important for her to go even if her father won't be with her?

I miss my daughter so much. I worry about her even more. I keep hoping that she's already molded into the gorgeous person that she is and his influence will be minimal. I hope that whatever thoughts he throws at her won't break the bond we have.

I'm so scared.