I'm lying in bed missing my girl this weekend. I just hate waking up and not having her here, particularly when I know she didn't want to go last night. She had a birthday party and her father wanted to take her as it was at the time he picks her up (which is fair enough.....) but Kara didn't want that. I suggested I could go along later and dress up with a moustache and long coat so nobody else would know and she PHSL at that idea LOL.
It's more than the party that's making me feel shit though ~ it's just knowing that despite what Kara wants and needs, I am unable to give that to her because of the new legislation. If she is ill and wants to just stay home in bed, I would be breaking the law if I allowed that (and yes, his opinion is it's all part of it ~ she needs to get used to that). Despite her wanting to be here on Christmas morning, she is forced to sleep there this Christmas Eve. Despite her still dreading every second fortnight, she has to stay for 3 nights next fortnight because it's a public holiday. She is having accidents again (although she has been toilet trained for 3 years). She screams out "I want Mummy" in the middle of dream and wakes up distraught. She tells me that she doesn't understand why her Daddy is making her feel so bad if he really does love her. She tells me she needs to "grow up really fast" so that he will start listening to her. She tells me she hates what he is doing to her life (and they are her exact words).
If the legislation is all about the child, why then does it state "prior living arrangements are irrelevant"? How can prior living arrangements be irrelevant? How can a child who has been raised soley by one parent be expected to then spend excessive time with another, just because it suits their new living or partner arrangements? Oh and if one more person suggests that "children are strong and they manage" I will shoot them :P Children shouldn't have to "manage". Children should be happy and not have such heavy burdens to deal with.
The past 18 months have shown me that the new legislation does not respect the primary care giver of children (usually the mother) at all. The new legislation has given the non-residential parent a bribery chip ~ "if you don't give me X, I'll go for 50-50". The new legislation needs to change because it is causing so much grief to so many families. It needs to be rephrased and it needs to take different situations into account.
I became a mother because I desperately wanted to keep the baby that Kara's father didn't want. I was threatened by him when I was pregnant, that he would not want the baby but that when it was older, he would take it from me. He told me last year, that if I didn't give him weekends, he would take me to court when the new legislation was in and take Kara for 50% of the time. He told me that he didn't want her for weekdays but that he would do it anyway. He has been given the power to dictate when and for how long he will see Kara because he knows I am desperately scared of my child having to move between 2 houses for the rest of her childhood. Then, my daughter is interviewed but because she is so very clever and vocal for her age, her opinions are not seen as her own as they are too "advanced" ~ this is despite me being equally shocked with what came from her mouth.
Maybe Kara is right. The only time she will be listened to is when she is older. It's such a shame that we are going to have children wishing they could grow up just to be heard.
It's more than the party that's making me feel shit though ~ it's just knowing that despite what Kara wants and needs, I am unable to give that to her because of the new legislation. If she is ill and wants to just stay home in bed, I would be breaking the law if I allowed that (and yes, his opinion is it's all part of it ~ she needs to get used to that). Despite her wanting to be here on Christmas morning, she is forced to sleep there this Christmas Eve. Despite her still dreading every second fortnight, she has to stay for 3 nights next fortnight because it's a public holiday. She is having accidents again (although she has been toilet trained for 3 years). She screams out "I want Mummy" in the middle of dream and wakes up distraught. She tells me that she doesn't understand why her Daddy is making her feel so bad if he really does love her. She tells me she needs to "grow up really fast" so that he will start listening to her. She tells me she hates what he is doing to her life (and they are her exact words).
If the legislation is all about the child, why then does it state "prior living arrangements are irrelevant"? How can prior living arrangements be irrelevant? How can a child who has been raised soley by one parent be expected to then spend excessive time with another, just because it suits their new living or partner arrangements? Oh and if one more person suggests that "children are strong and they manage" I will shoot them :P Children shouldn't have to "manage". Children should be happy and not have such heavy burdens to deal with.
The past 18 months have shown me that the new legislation does not respect the primary care giver of children (usually the mother) at all. The new legislation has given the non-residential parent a bribery chip ~ "if you don't give me X, I'll go for 50-50". The new legislation needs to change because it is causing so much grief to so many families. It needs to be rephrased and it needs to take different situations into account.
I became a mother because I desperately wanted to keep the baby that Kara's father didn't want. I was threatened by him when I was pregnant, that he would not want the baby but that when it was older, he would take it from me. He told me last year, that if I didn't give him weekends, he would take me to court when the new legislation was in and take Kara for 50% of the time. He told me that he didn't want her for weekdays but that he would do it anyway. He has been given the power to dictate when and for how long he will see Kara because he knows I am desperately scared of my child having to move between 2 houses for the rest of her childhood. Then, my daughter is interviewed but because she is so very clever and vocal for her age, her opinions are not seen as her own as they are too "advanced" ~ this is despite me being equally shocked with what came from her mouth.
Maybe Kara is right. The only time she will be listened to is when she is older. It's such a shame that we are going to have children wishing they could grow up just to be heard.
3 comments:
I am so sorry Kara has to go through this. Its really not fair on Kara's part. Poor little baby!
I think its time I need to start digging that huge hole!
Thanks Fari :)
You need to start digging so you can fit his head and ego in there too.... you have a massive job ahead of you :P
xxx
Really do not know what to say to you V, I did not think it could get any worse. I'll help Fari with the hole.
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