Tuesday 15 April 2008

I Need to Vent

I've tried realllllly hard to stay busy for these 5 days that Kara is with her father ~ really hard. I've just laid 50 square metres of turf, built a sandpit and am about to buy the materials for a roof..... I've been so busy.

This morning, I got a 6:50 phonecall. Of course I worry because Kara isn't at home sleeping. She is fine though... she rang me when she woke up to say hello and I asked where her Dad was. He was still asleep (which is fine ). Kara then went on to explain how it feels like she's been there for more than 4 days and she just wants to come home. She misses me and wants to see me. I assured her we would be together tomorrow and that it's important to spend some time with her Daddy (I really do hate lying to her but in these situations, what choice do I have? Do I tell her he's scum? I think not....)

Annnyway, 2 hours later, my mobile rings again and it's Kara again. She tells me she really misses me. She says she is OK which gives me some relief. I asked her what she was doing and where Daddy was. She said he's at work and that she's been staying with Cathy. My blood begins to boil. Actually, I think it may have passed boiling point.

Look, I totally understand that Dan has a partner. Obviously Kara will spend time with her and as hard as that is, as I don't know this woman, I accept that. It doesn't bother me who he sees, so long as Kara is treated with respect.

What infuriates me is this. My baby girl has been upset for weeks. She, for weeks, has cried and said how she doesn't want to go to her Dad's for 1, 2 or 3 sleeps, let alone 5 days (HER words). I have consistently told her it is good for her to spend time with her father. It's no surprise then, when, this morning, she said "Daddy isn't even here so why can't I just come home?". I just have no answer for that. I had to remain calm but I want to see this man suffer. I hate him ~ I know it's not healthy but he is such a naristic, arrogant, power playing pig.

Ahhhh, that feels better.

3 comments:

Emma-Kate Castricum said...

Good for you, get it all out. I've been wondering how you were doing and was getting around to emailing you. Now I know.

Why does pig man get her for 5 days anyway?? How often will this happen?

I can really understand how shitty you are with 'dad of the year' leaving Kara with his partner and going out. I'd be f**king furious too.

You know after all of this, in another 10 yrs, Kara will be able to make her own choices who she want's to be with and share her life with. We all know what her choices will be and who she will want to be with.....just hang in there.

Enjoy your reunion with your girl.
Em

Tabitha said...

I agree totally - good for you - saying exactly what you feel.
It sounds to me like Kara already knows what she wants, it is a shame that the courts make these judgements and there is nothing you can do. I have been there and like emma-kate said - all you can do is hang in there and keep praying for those triplets you talked about or maybe even quads (hehe!!!!)
Tabitha X

meganxxx said...

Keep trying that voodoo doll V, it has to work eventually!!

I know how hard this is for you and I think you are doing brilliantly.

I am betting they will get sick of a little girl not wanting to be around them and get the bloody hint loud and clear-she doesnt want to be there full stop.
Stupid stupid man should have quit while he was ahead, now he has made it so difficult for Kara he is never going to have a two sided realtionship with her. LOSER!
Love mexxx