Saturday 17 May 2008

Crazy Times!!


That is the best way to describe the past two weeks!!!!

Work is great ~ thanks to all who have asked about it! I am needing to juggle my routine a lot, even though I'm only working 3 days (and not even full days). It's totally doable but it just means I have very little 'me' time now ~ that used to be evenings for me. I am determined to keep the time I have with Kara as time WITH Kara..... therefore, after school pick up, it's really important for me (and I think for Kara) to spend the 4 hours pre-bedtime doing fun things with my girl. It does make it hard ~ I need to be super organised and make sure the house is clean and the meals prepared at night , once she's in bed. I finally feel that I'm getting there now:)


One thing I have noticed, is how much of a different financial situation others my age are in LOL.... for the better of course :P I suppose you get that working in a finance company. One of the first things that jumped out at me, was how much Super and Investments some 3o year olds have ~ it almost scared me at one stage!!! It did get me thinking..... thinking about the paths I've chosen in life and whether I've done the right thing. I have been criticised in the past by some for 'sponging' from the government instead of working ~ for being part of the Centrelink Gravy chain as it was so nicely put and at times, I have wondered how that would effect Kara as a person. BUT it only takes seconds with my girl to push all of those worries aside. My angel is so confident. She is so bright and so 'tuned in'. We have a bond and relationship that I know I would never have had with her if I didn't choose the path I've chosen. I know I would have huge regrets if I didn't spend her pre-school years with her, especially after what's happened in court. You know for once, and I don't say this lightly, I am so proud of what I've done for Kara given the situation I've been in (both financial and emotional). I'm proud that I've raised my girl the way I have ~ even if the government has paid for it. Now that I'm working, I will be paying that back AND I've had the best 5 years of my life which I will cherish forever. How could I possibly have chosen any other path?


I didn't start this post with the intentions of the above ~ sometimes my mind just wonders and I type as it does... probably not a great thing but I suppose that's what a blog is for.


So today..... it POURED in Adelaide. We had a late night last night and this morning, the sound of the rain on the tin roof scared the crap out of me ~ it was that heavy.


Kara, last night, finally got to see hail!!! She was so so so excited and this morning, ran out again (with my slippers on) in case it returned. She's just so darn adorable (if I do say so myself :P).


Here are some pics of my girl today... they're crappy atm but I'm too buggered to edit them properly lmao.


xxxx



5 comments:

Tabitha said...

Vanessa,
It looks to me as if you have done a wonderful job bringing up your gorgeous daughter (and don't let anyone tell you otherwise!!).
I too, often wonder what life would be like if I had walked a different path!! Being a single mother with 2 children, life is never easy ~ but like Kara, my 2 are happy and bright and I wouldn't change a moment of it!!
Kara looks so cute in those slippers!!
Take care ~
love and hugs, Tabitha XXX

Anonymous said...

What an adorable picture!

Banks School of Scottish Dancing said...

Oh Vanessa,

Try not to go through the guilty mother thing - it would hit you if it was the opposite. If you had put Kara in care 5 days a week, and gone out to work, so that you 'could provide for her and not 'sponge off the government'. THen you would be so very guilty and upset about missing those 5 years.

Why do you think we pay a SHITLOAD of tax in this country?? SO that we can use the welfare system when we need to. And you needed to!!

Look at that amazing daughter you have!! OH MY SHE IS FANTASTIC!! You have done a fabulous job so far, and are so dedicated about continuing that job!!

On ya woman!!!!!!!!!!!! Stand proud!!!! :)

BTW - I think vocal lessons would be bril for Kara! And you might be able to find a children's choir attached to a community group or church? I know there are some around my area in Sydney.

If you want a Scottish Dance teacher I can tell you of some in Adelaide! ROFLMAO!!!!

Have a GREAT WEEK!! You sound like you're getting yourself in a really good routine, but dont worry if that falls apart either!

Big Hugs
Justine
xo
http://juzziebear.spaces.live.com/

Precious Pink Pumps said...

You do what you feel is best and that is all that matters. Love your daughter and create a safe space for her and that is all the riches you could ever want. x

Jane said...

You are an ace Mum, and don't let any narrow minded person let you doubt that the choices you made were in the best interests of your child.

Love

Jane

p.s. don't get excited - I have started a blog but there is nothing at all in it!!! and may never be....!